Pushing pavement

The thing with road trips is that no one wants to go alone. It has been my experience that the purpose of such a trek is to get into as much mischief as possible with someone, anyone else who wants to get away.

However, you really shouldn’t take just anyone on a road trip. I’ve found this out the hard way — more than once.

When roading with a girl, appearance maintenance level is extremely important. There are days when I take an hour to get ready. It happens. I’m human. There are also days when I can blow my hair out with the Hand dryer mounted to the bathroom wall, and be in and out of the prettifying process in under 10 minutes, five if you’re lucky.

If you aren’t the only girl along for the ride, chances are there will be trouble. On one particular trip, my female counterpart had a suitcase that took up the entire trunk and a bag full of shoes. I had a backpack and a pillow. It took two hours for my partner to go from alarm clock to pushing pavement.

There are officially four weeks of classes and one long, tedious week of finals remaining in the semester. Despite projects, papers and scantrons littering my universe, I can think of only one thing: road trip.

I can barely resist the urge to bolt straight out of Vermillion.

While a vehicle’s gas mileage might be a huge factor in who drives, it is also worth it to contemplate who is the better driver. Veering through the lanes of the interstate in Omaha isn’t my idea of a great time. Add in snow, Monday work rush hour, and talking on the cell phone at the same time and you can bet I received a stress ulcer from that experience. The remaining hours driving back to Vermillion were awful. She was mad that her driving made me nervous. How could it not, when she kept her foot on the dash, drove in the left-hand lane and kept cruise control on the entire time? That trip made me religious again. I have never prayed so much in my life.

Ultimately, we spent more time using the restroom and flirting with gas station attendants than in the car. It wasn’t a complete disaster though.

Having a good copilot is always a fantastic idea. If Mapquest is the brains of the operation, you’re doomed. If both parties are inept with cardinal directions or reading a map, don’t even leave the driveway.

We ended up lost. Not just lost, but lost without a map, accurate directions or the ability to describe where we were. Fantastic. Thank heavens for GPS.

If getting lost, weaving through traffic and re-establishing your religion aren’t a feature of your ideal road trip, take the time to pick out a stable road trip comrade. After all, part of the fun is coming home in one piece.

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